Teaching makes me so tired. Some days, I’m so exhausted by 1:30 that I don’t know if I’ll make it the rest of the day. But I do. I’m not doing any heavy lifting — nah, nothing fun like that. No, my brain has been differentiating, counseling, instructing, herding cats (my students, of course), nagging, reading and writing. Phew…I’m tired all over again!
So on days like this, I need a little pick-me-up. TV? No. Exercise? I wish! Nope…I think about my little children in a Proms & Potties episode!!1
Proms
Okay, well, Jake is a junior in college and doing well. He’s all on his own — except he refuses to try to find a job. But…he’s finding free things to do, mooching off his friends, and living on the measly $100 I give him each month. But he wants to leave me. Yep, he called last week to say that he wants to study abroad (cue the crude “I-hope-she’s-cute” joke). First, it was South Africa; then, Ireland; my favorite, New Zealand; settled on London. Yes, I’ll let him go–that’s my job. But I’ll cry and worry every day. Wonder if he’ll call or forget his raincoat. What if he doesn’t meet any friends? Or what if he gets mugged? Or worse, what if he gets a job, loves it, and gets an offer to move there. Can I be a separate-continent kind of mommy?
Potties
Just like Jake, Lily has started leaving me. We went to the bookstore a few days ago, and the LilyBelle said she had to go to the bathroom. I told her to wait because I had just sat down…and SHE SAID, “I’LL GO BY MYSELF”!!! Yep, I couldn’t believe it either. After the go-to-the-bathroom-by-myself incident, she spent the night with our next-door neighbor. Then, I had to take her to a basketball game with me (I had gate-duty); Lily sat with some of my students, found a friend she knows, and proceeded to run around for an hour meeting new people, seeing one of her teachers, and hugging on the teachers I work with. I didn’t see her for the two hours I was taking up money.
So…even though I’m brain-dead practically from teaching all day, my sweet, sweet babies always give me much more to think about. I can deal with it. Hopefully!! 😉
So, my LilyBelle has made a new friend with the little girl next door. In my mother’s words: “You can’t keep them apart.” –She just made an observation that now that they’ve found each other and are old enough to walk back and forth to each other’s house, they want to be together ALL the time! In the last three weeks, I’ve had “company” — Every. Single. Day. Every one. I think it’s driving me nuts! haha….
It’s fun noticing how Lily changes with this little friend. I don’t work at the school she attends like I did with Jake, so I don’t get to see her interact with kids her age. I see a little of the I-want-to-do-things-my-way attitude that every child has, but I also see a little girl who watches out for someone else and wants to please. They are funny together, and it’s nice to see Lily be able to share her toys and share her time with someone other than me. But she can be bossy — she just doesn’t have to win, a trait I find refreshing. She seems to understand the purpose of sharing.
I don’t remember Jake being like that. I think when he had friends over, he was content to play something totally different than his company. He’s always created his own little world and didn’t care if anyone followed or if he was alone. It helped me when I was in graduate school — I could get my homework done! — But now that I’m thinking back, this might make me sad.
Dern it….why do kids always have to be so weird? heehee…
**Well, I didn’t mean for this to be a Proms & Potties story, but it turned out that way! 😉
Today is a Proms & Potties exclusive, with the theme of writing!
Potties
I had a chance to talk to LilyBelle’s kindergarten teacher yesterday; a conversation that enlightened me to the wonder that IS the LilyBelle! haha….Her teacher, Ms. Avery, told me that the class had written a leprechaun story, and Lily just wrote on and on and on. Lily piped up and said, “Yeah, I wrote three pages front and back. I just couldn’t stop the story.” Her teacher laughed and said she told Lily that she was going to “be a writer just like her mama.” I took that complement and laughed with them.
LilyBelle really has amazed me at the skill and determination with which she approaches writing. It’s almost as if she zones out as she’s crafting and meticulously sounding out each sound she hears in words. She shows no fear in using “big” words — anything that is in her speaking vocabulary, something that I think is pretty high, but that’s probably because she’s a girl, right? She is as comfortable composing digitally with iPod apps as she is with pencil and paper.
Proms
I can’t help but compare her writing and language to Jakey-poo at the same age. His writing was through elaborate storytelling using action figures — hours of playing with Batman, the Joker, and Star Wars characters. Did I capture those like I would now? No, because at that time, video-taping wasn’t available on my phone or at the drop of a hat. What did I miss out by not recognizing these storytelling techniques? He had problems writing –handwriting included — but he would stop himself from coming up with ideas, wait until the last minute to finish a writing assignment, and convince himself he couldn’t do it anyway. It wasn’t until his sophomore year of high school that he felt remotely comfortable with writing — and this was on the side. He’d had a pretty bad break up and began writing poetry (he called what he was writing, songs, though). He started posting some of them on his Facebook page when he was a senior, and, because of the feedback he got from his friends, he’d edit, create, and post more. He finally started a blog on Tumblr last spring where he reviews new music and movies and posts more of his songs. So, he’s come into his own with expressing himself, and has told me he’s mastering my art of waiting until the last minute to write a paper for class and still get a decent grade (I’m not sure he would actually beat me on that one, though! haha
Observations
As I talked to Lily in the car about her story, I found out she hadn’t read to anyone in the class — just a quick conference with her teacher. But what I see from Jake is that feedback and audience matter. I know this as a writing teacher, but still struggle with how to manage this in a class of 32 students. But I will conquer this demon of mine and stop being lazy about finding the answers. Jake didn’t share his writing until he had an audience other then me, and Lily won’t keep writing if she doesn’t have an audience; and if the audience can’t be at school, then I’ll make the audience her family. Or, today, her audience will be my community of Slicers. I’m deconstructing her writing and what I think I can learn from it to help me be a better high school writing teacher over at my UNC Charlotte Writing Project blog if you’re interested in that.
VoiceThread
I had LilyBelle make a VoiceThread of her leprechaun story, and she gave me permission to share it here on my blog. So, I’m posting it and hope that some of you will make a comment at some point in her story (the last page seems easiest). The thread plays automatically, but if you want to comment on an individual page, just click the Add Comment link. The four icons are: telephone — call a number to record your message; webcam — you can videotape your comment; microphone — you can record your comment; letter A — you can simply type your comment. Lily will be able to hear/read your comments — and you can hear/read others comments just by clicking on their picture. If you want to hear her story, just click the picture below and it will open the VoiceThread page. I hope this works because she really needs an audience!!
So, the Jakester is home for spring break — why he has no friends to go somewhere with during this week is beyond me…however, I’m glad to have him home. The LilyBelle drives me NUTS during the weeks he’s not here. All she says to me is how BORED she is and nobody PLAYS with her and why can’t Jakey-poo come HOME and TAKE HER OUTSIDE?????
Proms
LilyBelle: Jake…mommy says you have to take me outside RIGHT NOW!
Jakester: (under his breath) God, mom, I really hate you right now. (out loud) Lily, it’s too cold, and I want to eat something. I just got up! (umm…it’s like 2pm).
LilyBell: (yelling) Mommy!!! Jake says he hates you!
Jakester: (yelling) Lily, you’re SUCH A TATTLETALE. Mom…I don’t hate you…I just hate you putting ideas in her head about going outside!
Me: You people are making me LOSE MY HAIR! (for emphasis, I pull a few strands of hair to show them — it’s a horrible thing, I know! Couldn’t be helped, though!! haha)
Potties
LilyBelle and Jakester are in my room watching a movie, but mostly LilyBelle’s scream-laughing while Jake’s tickling her. Suddenly, LilyBelle comes stomping out of the room:
LilyBelle: Mom…You need to grow a pair!
Jakester: (howling with laughter, says “Oh my God…I can’t believe she did it!” & laughs some more.)
Me: (to Lily) What did you say, Miss Missy??
LilyBelle: You know. You have to grow a pair!
Me: (still listening to Jake laugh in the other room). You better quit saying stuff that Jake tells you to. You’re going to be in some HUGE trouble!
Lily: He’s my brother. I have to do what he says.
Me: Yeah? Well you go back in there and tell him that I’m going to wash his mouth out with soap. And you stop saying that!
Lily: Mom (she’s indignant now that I’m going to “punish” her brother)…I didn’t say a bad word!
Me: Right…you go back in that room and see if Jake tells you what that means.
Lily: I already know! It means you got to plant a tree and grow a pear!
Jake: (I think he busted a gut laughing this time!)
************
Oh, goodness! I’m in for SUCH a wonderful week! 😉
*FYI — My Proms & Potties stories are about my kids: Jake (19 y/o) & Lily (5 y/o) — mostly about how they act the same despite the age differences. I have them tagged if you’re interested in any others.
For my next installment of Proms & Potties, I’ve been thinking about advice I want to give my kids (Jakester, 19 & LilyBelle, 5). My thoughts today really stem from two songs that are popular right now: Firework by Katy Perry and Perfect by Pink. Maybe it’s because I’m on medical leave and have nothing to occupy my mind except for THINKING NONSTOP, and it’s driving me nuts. Or maybe it’s because the Jakester is at such a frustrating turning point in his life, trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up, and the endless search for a college major. Or maybe because the LilyBelle is writing and drawing and being so creative, and I know that school will “socialize” it out of her — I want her to remember all this creativity, so maybe she can keep it.
Whatever the reason, I have things to tell them. I don’t want them to think badly about themselves. I want them to believe in their smarts and abilities and values that the Kevman and I have tried to instill in them. I mean, I know there will be times when they question if they made the right decision or if they can really get through tough times. But if they have something to fall back on– a mixtape that floats in their heads — then that helps. When I was growing up, I wasn’t allowed to listen to popular/rock music because of my parents’ religious beliefs at the time. I could only listen to Christian music — and while there is NOTHING wrong with that, I feel like if I hadn’t had that soundtrack, I would not have made it through my childhood. While this may sound like hyperbole, it’s my belief, and I find myself “singing” those same songs when I’m going through something rough. Every time I give my students the assignment to create a soundtrack of their life, I try to make a new list, too, but I always put some of the same songs on mine. Here’s one of the songs that I’ve had playing in my head since I was little:
I adore soundtracks — they usually get to the heart and soul of whatever it is you’re thinking about. I always check out author’s book soundtracks and movie soundtracks just to get a sense of what the “text” is about (by the way, the soundtrack for The Hunger Games looks AMAZING!!!!). I know I’m totally weird — some people have Bible verses that they lean on during tough times. I use music! I know — too weird!
The thought occurred to me to embed YouTube videos of my soundtrack so whoever read my blog could hear the song/read the lyrics; however, my list became 13 songs (pared down from 22!!), and I thought that was too cumbersome for a blog post. The songs are at the bottom if you want to play them.
13 Pieces of Advice for My Munchkins
1. Firework — by Katy Perry: Be confident in yourself (I’m adding a video for this song after I found it last year and used it in class)
2. Perfect — by Pink: Talk positively about yourself even if you mess up or make a bad decision. No one is perfect!
3. It’s My Life — by BonJovi: Trust yourself to make your own way.
4. I Don’t Wanna Be — by Gavin Degraw: You don’t have to change to please anyone except yourself (okay, well, and maybe your mom! haha)
5. Set Fire to the Rain — by Adele: Stand up for yourself, and be brave enough to let stuff go.
6. Time of Your Life — by Greenday: Have fun in life, and hold on to those memories when you’re going through rough times.
7. Mean — by Taylor Swift & Loser Like Me — by the Glee Cast: You’re going to come out on top when you stay true to yourself.
8. Keep on the Sunny Side — by The Carter Family: Think positively!
9. Life is Beautiful — by Sixx A.M.: Appreciate what you have, and what you are giving back to those around you.
10. Footloose — by Kenny Loggins: You need to work hard, but also have fun!!
11. Down to the River to Pray — by Allison Krauss: Have faith in something bigger than yourself.
12. You Are a Tourist — by Death Cab for Cutie: Follow your passions!
13. Back to Avalon— by Kenny Loggins: You’ll get your heart broken, but you can find your way back (to love or a new career or hobby) <YouTube link>
**Bonus Track: Change of Habit — Elvis Presley: You are in charge of your life; if you don’t like what’s going on, you have the power to change it! <YouTube link>
**Bonus Track#2: Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen — by Baz Luhuman: Don’t sweat the small stuff, and be good to others! (The ultimate advice song!)
***********************
The long and short of my post today is that these are all the things I need to tell myself on a daily basis, too. So, what do you think? What did I miss? What would be on your advice mixtape?
LilyBell has just reached the age where she’s in love with her older brother. He can do no wrong–as long as there’s no one else around to take her attention off him (especially my sister). He can play with her just a little rougher (not much, though, because she’s a scaredy-cat), and watch some of the same tv shows (Spongebob, anyone?) and genuinely have a conversation.
Potties
Jake has been home from his first year of college, and Lily couldn’t be happier. She loves bossing him around, and trying to figure out how she can be in charge of him, and makes him color and play dolls with her. She begged me to let him pick her up from preschool today since I was going to be pretty late after my Writing Project class.
The Problem
So, now, my mom (who lives with us) has decided to intervene in Jake’s & Lily’s relationship, much to my chagrin. She’s taken to fussing at Jake all the time when he’s playing with her, especially when he wants Lily to say a password in order to get around him (the password changes from a hug to an I-Love-You), or if she thinks Jake is aggravating Lily too much.
The Solution
So, both Lily and Jake have ganged up on their grandmother, who’s in their business. In the most inspired of ways, they’re figuring out how to be brother and sister. Jake tells his grandmother that she needs to trust him and he wants to make his own relationship with his sister (He’d have to, right? I mean, there’s 14 years between them!). Lily says “Mamaw, quit saying it. You are not the boss!” And then she tells me that mamaw doesn’t listen, and I have to say, “That mamaw. What are we going to do with her?” And Lily says, “Put her in time out forever!”
I suppose that’s one way to handle the situation! haha…but I just think this time of figuring each other out is one of the sweetest times I’ve ever witnessed. I don’t think Lily will appreciate her relationship with Jake until she’s much older (well, she’ll got nuts when he goes back to college. She will NOT like that.) But he’s old enough to understand how precious Lily is in his life. I’m positive that I didn’t appreciate my sister until we were way old adults!
I am a little worried though. I’ve been told that when he was 8, Jake spun the cat around by the tail. But that could just be a “Jake-tale”!
Tonight’s Proms & Potties is magical…We’re having a Harry Potter marathan–the first one in quite some time. So, here’s my life for the last three hours….
Proms
Jake (picks up the new Entertainment Weekly magazine and says: they have this really cool picture from the last movie.
Me: Super–show me.
Jake: Here. It’s from when they were in Gringotts.
Me: I totally don’t remember that part in the book. I know, let’s…
Jake: Have a marathon?? (He can’t quit smiling at this point) I just thinking that.
Me: Do we have all of them? (Because in my head, I’m thinking that we don’t).
Jake: We don’t have 4 & 5…They have them at Walmart for like $10 each.
Me: Okay…well go on and get them.
Jake: And….so if it’s a marathon….that means we need….pizza!!
Potties
Me: Hey Lily….do you want to stay up all night and watch Harry Potter?
Lily: All all all night long?? The whole night? And never go to sleep until the sun comes up?
Me: Yep. And the first one who goes to sleep gets shaving cream in their hands, and then we tickle their nose, and they will put the shaving cream all over their face!
Lily: YEAH!!!! I can’t WAIT to stay up all night!!
~~So then about 20 minutes into HP & Sorcerer’s Stone, Lily says: When do we get to watch another movie?
haha…
Now, both Jake and I are on our laptops (I’m not sure what Jake is doing, but I knew I had to blog, and I couldn’t get it done with my cellphone!). Lily says: Mommy, I need to go to the car to get my laptop.
Me (trying not to laugh too loudly): What are you talking about?
Lily: I need my Barbie laptop ’cause I am SO BORED of Harry Potter! I have to do my work!!
~~If it wasn’t so dark in here, I’d take a pic of these wonderful kids who show me everyday how different life is living with digital natives!!!
Anyway…this is a link to my favorite scene from ALL of the movies….I would give almost anything to be able to send a HOWLER to people who aggravate me!! haha…
This morning, the local Barnes & Noble had a “breakfast, book, & craft” party. The character was Skippyjon Jones, of a kids’ book I haven’t read, but the premise is hilarious!! Apparently, the cute, little Siamese cat wants to be ANYTHING except a Siamese cat–so he decides he’s a Chihauhau….Here’s a quick video:
Anyway, this is a Potties story because the LilyBell went CRAZY shy!! I couldn’t get her to sit at the table with the other kids, so we colored at a table behind them (and the children’s bookseller kept ignoring all the kids NOT at the tables, which became extremely aggravating!). And when the Skippyjon Jones dude came out, the LilyBell was having NONE of meeting & greeting or taking pictures or getting the least bit close! She couldn’t seem to get close enough to me–as if she’d never been to the bookstore, or been around other kids, or seen any crazies! For some reason, this behavior out of her always dumbfounds me and makes me think of…
Proms
The Jakester, on the other hand, would have been all over that character. This book, actually, would have been one where I would have had to buy the entire series in hardback! No waiting for the paperback version! Skippyjon Jones reminds me of the Jakester in a way: they both want to be someone they’re not, and both have a vivid imagination –technically, Jake’s is MIA, though. But he had the best time at bookstores when he was little. When I was in graduate school, we hung out at an indy bookstore up in the mountains (he loved rolling on the carpet for story time and drinking some kind of fruity concoction). Before we moved to Las Vegas, we frequented Media Play, and he was in heaven! He roamed the store so much, and never stayed where I told him to, that I just KNEW the mommy police were going to come lock me up! In Vegas, the Borders had story time practically every night, and we were always there. The children’s bookseller was a sweet young dude with blue hair who Jake followed around the store. The dude would let Jake pick the book sometimes and never once told me to come get him because he kept telling the ending of the stories!! The point is, he was NOT shy as a kid the LilyBell’s age, but now, he can barely look people in the eye!
Jake tells me he can’t remember any of this stuff now, which makes me wonder if it really happened. Maybe that’s why I’m needing to write it down now. Maybe it’s why I keep comparing two kids who are so far apart in age–the LilyBell helps me remember how Jake was, and when I write down those stories, I don’t know…they make me nostalgic? They make me wonder why I didn’t write down Jake’s own stories? Is is all right for me to be “making up ground” now? And how in the world, have I produced two kids so many years apart, who are painfully shy in their personal stage of development?! Lord, help me! haha….
here’s my story: the jakester, mr. big college kid, starts a facebook campaign last week that i only understood this past sunday. he has apparently gotten a facial piercing — not asking, of course. he’s 18, for crying out loud! no barbie birthday cake for him! haha…
i’m just wondering when is the “right” time to not expect to be asked about major life decisions? i mean, i still claim him as a tax credit — i still own him, right? haha….this is too funny of a situation because i really know the answer. it just hurts when the cuteness leaves!!
the lilybell and i have a plan, though. when he gets home for break this friday, she’s going to cry every time she looks at him or he talks to her. and when he says, “what’s wrong, lily?”, she’s going to say he’s scaring her with that crap on his face!! haha….i can’t wait for that!
so i’m such a slacker, i don’t think i’ve blogged since december! who’s that busy? i mean, seriously, how narcissistic of me to not take time to document my life!! haha…anyway, since i’m getting back into the swing of things, i thought i’d start with my favorite kind of posts: a proms & potties story….
my dilemma with the two people who call me “mom” involves school. for some reason, lily apparently will be in kindergarten next school year (!!!!!), and jake will be a sophomore in college. “why the dilemma, steph?” you might be saying to yourself….well, kindergarten is a big step in one’s life. it’s a make or break year, isn’t it? i mean, get the wrong teacher, and all is lost! get the right one, and you’ll soar to the top of the honor roll in high school (a bit of an exaggeration??? haha). seriously, though, i’m not looking forward to sending the lilybell to school because she’s a scaredy-cat. she cried the first two months of preschool and tells me now that she wants to stay with “miss anne” and “never ever ever never leave” her!! i know, crazy; that’s where she is, though. plus, i’m seriously worried about school taking away her creativity. all that competition and having to go by “rules” and “schedules” — living her life by bells!! man, it’s a wonder any of us ever got through that mess!
Generational Twins!
and so what about the jakester? well, he wants to transfer. somewhere. but he doesn’t know where. he’s taken to posting on his facebook page how depressed he is that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life. i’m pretty sure it would have helped him to have taken this year off and worked or gone to the peace core (can you do that right out of high school?) or something where he didn’t have an english paper due on tuesday or a french test on wednesday. however, i think i preached at him too much about being the “first” boy in our family to go to college that he didn’t feel like he could do anything else. i think he feels comfortable in a school setting (i mean, it’s familiar, right?), but is not very introspective, despite being an introverted personality (i totally have weird kids), so a major isn’t jumping out at him. i’ve told him several times that most people really don’t know what they want to do with their lives when they’re 18; what do i know, though? i’m just him mommy, haha….
so twelve years of school didn’t prepare jake for his life–and eighteen years with me certainly hasn’t either. hence, my delimma: how to parent the child through school, then through young adulthood.
with some of my students, found a friend she knows, and proceeded to run around for an hour meeting new people, seeing one of her teachers, and hugging on the teachers I work with. I didn’t see her for the two hours I was taking up money.
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