dear mrs. mccabe,

we regret to inform you that you are a big, fat, stinking liar. we know that you don’t care about us or our grades. and frankly, neither do we. we only want to play and talk and laugh and be kindergartners even though we’re 15-17 years old. if you wouldn’t be so dang hard on us like making us write about topics we care about and read them stupid books, we might make something of ourselves like chicken crap picker-upper, dog killer for foreign resturants, or four-wheeler crash-test-dummies.

see, we don’t need to know how to write or read or be quiet. our rednecky mammys & pappys are gonna be taking ker (care) of us and keeping on wiping our asses noses. we don’t need any work ethic skills like showing effort, doing our best, or knowing when to shut our traps. We’re okay letting the Chinamen be our leaders (cuz you always tell us they are gonna take over one day cuz we aren’t paying attention to world issues or reading about wars and government take-overs from history–daaaaang….you think a book can save the world, mrs. mccabe!). you know what? we like rice and wading in ponds–why n0ot combine our favorite things and let the Chinese government tell us what to do?

after all, we’re just little–and we definitely ain’t the worst class. nope, that was your juniors a few years ago. so be nice and quit yelling and expecting us to do our work and be respectful of your requests. we don’t need no education! hey, teacher, leave us kids alone!

sincerely,

your 2010 students

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