i’m struggling this week both personally and professionally (hey, aren’t we all??). let’s start personal: i’m feeling very disconnected from jake–my college baby. apparently when a teenager goes to college and gets mad at the mom for “making” him go 6 hours away, the teen reserves the right to give mom the silent treatment! yep, my baby who i’ve loved since before he was born is totally pretending i don’t exist in the world. he hasn’t called me in almost 2 weeks; the only texts i’ve received have been one liners: “when did we move from vegas?” — “how long were we there?” — “yes, i want to go to DC for the john stewart rally.” hello? i’m a chick!! i demand language! explanation! emphatic linguistic accounts!!! not a letter texted to me as a response to every question i have: “k”!! what’s up with that??

another personal: lily won’t stop crying. i’m trying to put on my freud hat and diagnose her, but i keep coming up empty…she cries when i get her up for preschool; she cries when i leave her with her teachers; she cries when i pick her up; she cries when i’m out of the room; she cries when i put her to bed… you’d think she’d be all cried out, but every other minute, her little tear ducts are working, working, working. i’ve even told her that i’m going to take her to the doctor to get a crybaby shot (no effect) and that the mommy police are going to come arrest me if she doesn’t go to preschool (she doesn’t believe me. she’s not jake. she’s immune to my reverse psychology–that HAS to be some kind of freudian thing, right??).

on the professional front, i’m dealing with a student who is absolutely unlovable. unlikable. unmanageable. i’m at my wits end on how to help/teach/deal with this horrible teenager. and i have feel so very, very bad for describing him in this way. but if i sugarcoat it, i don’t think it will help me deal with him any better. he does everything he can to disrupt the other students and me at every turn, so i end up sending him to the office. there is absolutely no parental support (mom is gone; dad “travels” for work; kid is “raised” by dad’s girlfriend), and i can find no redeeming qualities. he needs the sort of therapy that writing can offer; however, he wads his paper up and throws it in the trash can whenever i give him an assignment! the assistant principals and special education teacher (all male) tell me that this kid has trouble with female teachers, so much so that last year they moved him in with only male teachers. but this year, since there’s only two composition & sophomore english teachers, they are keeping him in my class. “THANKS!!” i yelled with as much sarcasm as i could muster!! haha….but i’m not taking the “be nice to him because he has issues with “females” — he doesn’t. yes it may have damaged him that his mother left him behind, but that is not my fault. maybe she did the best thing for him. maybe she knew he would be a thousand times worse if she stayed. no, this kid’s problem is that he hasn’t had any rules and he doesn’t understand consequences. and it frustrates me that i have no true consequences for him. if i make him stay in class, he will disrupt 31 other students; if i keep sending him out, he won’t pass or learn to use writing in a therapeutic way. and i can’t even “love” him through this semester–i might throw up in my mouth!! haha….wow, that is SOOO un–teacherly!!

anyway, i’m promoting my new favorite tv show–i had to rewind the dvr like fifteen times so i could stop laughing and write down the best lines!! it’s called “raising hope” and it comes on fox on tuesdays after glee (which was FABulous tonight!). maybe my therapy should be laughter medicine…that might be the only way to get through this school year!!