by now in my teaching career, i should have a file cabinet overflowing with lesson plans; drawers that i saunter to when i’m in need of inspiration; file folders floating to my fingers without a care of who the students are–merely that they are necessary at a particular time.  but, if you know me at all, you know that i’m NOT that kind of teacher. i’m more like the dude at the cemetery who needs a map to know where the ground is clear of dead bodies–so he’ll know where to start digging. and he’s lost the map, so he digs a little, finds a coffin, covers it up, moves to another part of the graveyard, digs some more….get it?

i’m not the boring kind of teacher (at least the students i’ve had previously have not said i’m boring)…i don’t like to have meaningless activities/assignments… and i definitely don’t like complaining all the time about the sad state of “kids these days.”

that was me….yesterday.

today, however, i can feel myself becoming the kind of teacher who “does what i can” to “get through the year”–really?? you might be sitting on the other side of my computer screen thinking, “she’s whacked!! she’s only at the beginning of the semester; how could she possibly be ready to give up?” well, it’s pretty easy. when you spend several hours writing lesson plans, building units, and trying to find real-world examples that might increase students’ engagement only to have said students question you, mock you, and otherwise disrespect your efforts, you really start pulling back into that it-was-good-enough-for-me-in-high-school box.

that’s where i am in a teacherly way today. i have a migraine because i don’t understand the textbooks i might be able to use for busy work; lily refuses to do anything other than scream, kick the wall, and generally act like a 4-year-old spoiled-rotten-brat, and kev is watching dirty harry movies that totally make me wish murder was legal for those who diss me. i don’t like to be dissed. i don’t like for a teen brat to think that just because he or she can talk to his/her parent, grandparent, guardian any way they’d like that it’s okay to talk to me that way. i don’t think it’s fair that i’m expected to change for the student or figure out how to reach them or call their parent. if their parent was going to be of any help, i wouldn’t have to be calling them–THEIR KID WOULDN’T BE A BEHAVIORAL PROBLEM!!!!! the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, people. if the kid is a jerk, do you really think mommy, daddy, or grandmammy is much better? in my educational experience, the answer is a big fat NOPE!

so, where does this leave me? am i doomed for the next 16 weeks? probably. the group of sophomores i have now are the ones who did so poorly on EVERYTHING they were assigned and tested on in middle school that the school was taken over by the state assistance team. and guess what helped: social promotion!! yep; just as soon as these twerps left the middle school (okay, escorted out of the building!!), test scores started climbing. guess what’s going on at the high school? test scores aren’t so hot (federally speaking)….but you’d never know that because the high school’s “fearless” leader isn’t what i’d call a truth-teller. that’s SO a totally different story!!

i’m already too tired to think of anything to do. and this is an absolute horrid piece of knowledge because my teaching licenses are up for renewal this year, and i have to have a gazillion observations/evaluations this year.

oh well….life could be worse. jake could be treating me like crap from 6 hours away….oh, right….he is!! I’M DOOMED!!!!! WAAAAAAHHHHH….