so a friend of mine who i haven’t talked to in a while sent me a fb message about “what’s new? what’s going on?” why do people do that? i need something exciting to have happened for the next time we talk. like, what about that i won $250 in the lottery, and i haven’t told anybody yet??? that’s not true–if i’d won $250, i would have spent it already…haha!!

hmmm…how about i just took a trip to venice–one of the 3 things i have to do before i die? how about i say that i rode one of those whatchamacallit-boats and was serenaded by a handsome venetian blind? (haha) i can say that he sang some italian melody that drove me wild, made my cheeks burn ten shades of  “just-rip-my-clothes-off-now”, and showed me how unplanned departures from a vessel aren’t necessarily negatives (!) i’d even have a picture to prove i was there:

or, how about, i’ve spent the last few months writing the most amazing pieces of fiction ever recorded?  i could have a publisher all lined up, ready to go to the printers’ whenever my editor returns my copy for my final authorization. it’s gonna be bigger than twilight!! (hey, if THAT chick can plagiarize and make a gazillion bucks, then baby, so can i!!)….only one problem with that story, though:

okay…i got it…another way i can make my life seem totally more exciting: i spend the weekends sky diving!!! does that not sound like me??? i mean, totally! i LOVE to be high above the ground with nothing to break my fall except the sound of my skull cracking the earth open for my grave!  and the parachutes are so colorful that when i’m in the air falling rapidly to my death, i can taste the rainbow (kudos to you if you got that advertising reference!)…yep, sky diving–the games of the gods!!

okay, okay, okay….so none of these things could possibly be me, right? i hear you laughing at me and shaking your head. “steph,” you think in your head….”steph, steph, steph…why not just enjoy the nice–albeit tediously monotonous—life you lead? who needs all that “excitement”????”

and i know you’re right. i’m looking at two storage containers of books i want to read (some young adult, some big-girl, some professional)–an eclectic brood, if i do say so…..i’ve read about 20 so far. but that’s only exciting to me–not someone i haven’t seen or talked to in a while. is it okay to let people think you’re boring? or a has-been? or a LOOOOOOSER??? i don’t want to be a loser! i want to have a menu of crap i can choose to be doing with my time. instead, i’m sitting on the couch listening to all the creative ways lily can come up with to change her cry so i’ll come back to lay down with her until she falls asleep. that is NOT exciting!!

so, i choose to be just a big old liar. yep, the next time you call me or email me or text me and ask what’s going on, i’m coming up with a doozy….maybe it’s true….or maybe it’s not!!