(or a Sam…or Jason…or Eric…probably a Bill…definitely a Sookie…)

okay….for those who know me, you know i’m a true blood fan; however, for numerous reasons, i got behind watching season 2 and didn’t start season 3 for two weeks into it. and the worst part is, my wonderful sister and bro-in-law stole my freaking books, so i was even further behind!! grrr…. (just for the record, she says she didn’t steal them….:) there, i fixed it, paula! hahaha)

i so totally made up for it today, for today, monday (7.12) was pajama day!!! i sat my lazy glutes on the the couch, got caught up with season 2, and made notes about funny lines and how TB is like high school (seem to remember a girl in my high school by the name of kathy rampole-a** who got an earful from me when she tried to “steal” my bf at the time….i think he actually left me for her. i KNOW he regretted it!! haha!!! but today when i watched bill’s maker and sookie argue, all i could think about was rampole-a**!!!haha…)

anyway, my sister made an interesting comment last week while we were watching the season 3 premier (2 weeks late!!). she said, “i love lafayette. everybody needs a lafayette!). at the time, i agreed with her, cuz who doesn’t like that character? (who, it turns out does not seem to be gay–not that there’s anything wrong with that) but today, something clicked. every time the character was 0n the screen, he stole it! so my notes went from jotting down some funny stuff (like when pam says, “i don’t know what it is about me that makes people think i care about their problems; maybe i smile too much; maybe i wear too much pink…” –and i am SOOOOO stealing that and printing it out for the fridge!!), but i started noticing the things that lafayette did. what made my sister think we all needed one?

so….here they are; the 13 reasons why everyone needs a lafayette (with episode numbers as best as i could remember):

1. He always  knows where the good drugs are (or will steal the liquor for ya), but he only uses them in extreme emergencies (like saving your behind from demons) <Episode 20 & 23>

2. He always has the best eyeshadow, but that doesn’t stop him from knowing your man is bad news because “ain’t nothin’ good can come out of something so pretty….he’s satan in a sunday hat!”  (E 21)

3. If he reads your tarot cards, he’ll keep the really bad news to himself–but make sure to take extra good care of you for a while, even though he threw you out of his house on your birthday  (E 22)

4. He’s brave enough to confront an abuser without even taking out his false eyelashes first and tell you that the abuser “ain’t never gonna change!” (there are a few women with children who wouldn’t be dead if they had watched season 2!!) <E 22>

5. He will cross the devil’s threshold to save you from yourself even if he has to throw you over his shoulder and let you scream bloody murder in his ear. nothing will stop him from getting you out of that situation! (E 22)***okay, i found this particular scene and had to put it in here because it’s sad and funny. but DON’T play it if you get offended by r0ugh language!!)

6. a pair of fur-lined handcuffs  (purple, please!) is a must to stop you from walking out the door to your physical  & em0tional  doom!! (E 23)

7. he’s not afraid to confront your parents when they’ve been horrible; and unlike you, he doesn’t have to “build a bridge to forgiveness” (E 23)

8. “tequila and clonipin keeps bad thoughts away til you more ready to deal wit’ ’em” –need i say more??? haha……..(E 23)

9. he doesn’t mind praying for you because  “jesus and i agree to see other people, but that don’t mean we don’t  talk from time to time.” (E 23)

10. when the black dude tells you to “get on up out the f (-ing) house”–don’t ask for an explanation–just MOVE!! (E 23)

11. he knows all your secrets, but loves you anyway (E 24)

12. even if he takes part in the devilment, he’s willing to lend a hand to clean up the mess (E 25)

13. he’ll take you to the crazy house to see his mother and swear that he’ll never let this happen to you. but if it does, you and mama will be roommates!! (E 26)

haha…so…there. one thing you have to remember about lafayette, though, is that he has his own demons and could be susceptible to utter meanness. you have to be willing to come to his rescue sometimes, too….

as far as the other characters, they all rescued each other in some way or another; something i think most people do on a regular basis….but, don’t we all want to be rescued — from something???