today i can’t decide if it’s more trouble to be a mother or a daughter! i interfered with jake’s prom plans today–and told him i thought he should ask kim (she’s more of a buddy and not a love-match). but she’s a good girl, and i like her, and jake’s not inclined to take the initiative and ask. i think he secretly likes me interfering (oh, the lies we tell ourselves–heehee…)

but being a daughter could be worse. i think we sometimes hold grudges against a parent that we aren’t even aware of until much later in life–could be just me. my mother has always been a “guilter”–and she’s totally laying it on THICK today! she’s gotten herself into a fine mess, both economically and personally. she’s been living in my upstairs “bonus room” (the largest in the house!) for the last 6 years, and life has gotten tougher and practically unbearable. there’s no choice that is acceptable—if she goes back to the house she owns, she’ll be alone; if she stays here, i’ll go crazy. she threatens suicide at least once a week, and doesn’t leave the house unless she decides to work during a particular day.

i sound horrible, and i have no excuse for writing about something so personal to a community of strangers. however, if i didn’t get this off my chest, i may have actually screamed!! 😉

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