The movie producer/writer, Nora Ephron, died last week. It was all over the news and Twitter, and everyone it seemed had good things to say about her. She did do several movies I liked: Silkwood, When Harry Met Sally, and whatever that Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan movie was where they meet at the Empire State Building.
Anyway, one tweet I read took me to a website that reprinted a list that Ephron had ended one of her books with (I Remember Nothing). Here is the link to the site and her writing: Nora Ephron’s Lists. I don’t know the context of the lists because I haven’t read the book, but I immediately felt I had a topic for my own set of lists: my journey dealing with breast cancer and having a genetic component attached to that diagnosis. Maybe my lists will help me put some things behind me, so I can move on to the wellness part of my life.
Things I Won’t Miss
Being bald
IVs
Sympathetic stares from people who don’t know me
The emergency room
Locking the bathroom door
The long drive to Winston Salem
Shaving
Being out of work
Feeling helpless in the face of the unknown
People who tell me how great my hair cut/color is — IT’S A WIG!!
Bras
Cold ears
Scars: inside and out
Things I Will Miss
The doctors and nurses for being gentle and concerned with my healthcare
Time alone with Kevin on a regular basis (even though it was stressful)
Being normal — not a mutation
Cuddling with LilyBelle like before I lost my breasts
Feeling like a girl (woman)
Bras
Napping whenever the mood strikes me
Threatening to show Jake and LilyBelle my baldness if they didn’t stop arguing/aggravating each other
My sister being at my beck and call
Estrogen
Law & Order SVU marathons all day Tuesdays
All-day read-athons
Coconut cake on chemo day
I have to say that writing the second list was harder — I had to dig deep to find some value to this experience that is part of who I am now. It’s difficult to accept changes, especially one like this. I’m grateful, though, for what I found.
What sort of topic would you use to write you’re own lists?
July 10, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I am so sorry for what you have been through and for all those things on the “will not miss” list that you have had to endure. And even though it was harder to write I am glad you made the “will miss” list last, which seems to say you are focusing on the positive. Good for you! One thing I will miss is Nora Ephron’s creative work. That fabulous movie was “Sleepless in Seattle.”
July 10, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Hi Steph, I admire you for sharing the hard stuff, at least some of it, in a list like Ephron. I am aware of her lists, & think you’ve captured some of her flavor here, which is great. I’m sorry for all you’ve gone through & hope this will be like an ‘end mark’ as we teach the little ones. As for lists, I’ve had a challenging year myself, so I expect my list will be a before & after too, though I don’t think I’m ready to do it yet. Best wishes to you!
July 10, 2012 at 9:58 pm
I think the way you summed up your battle inEphronish lists would have made Nora smile from ear to ear! No matter how good or how bad a situation is, there are things we take from it…..I wish you improving health, hair and happiness….I am sure Nora would too.
July 12, 2012 at 5:13 pm
I’m sorry that you had to go through all this…the line about your sister touched me so much because of my sister struggling through so many of your same things. I’m just so glad that she is happy and healthy 5 years after the fact. Your relationship will be forever changed. xo nanc