I think the entire world has gone zombie crazy, and I’m loving it. I’ve seen several YA books, tv shows, and movies about zombies in society. In the spirit of zombie apocalypse epics, I’m having my students write their own zombie story. I take a different stance on memoirs in order to do this (I wrote about my plans last year) where I ask students to rework a true story — memoir moment — and add a zombie attack. The kids last year LOVED it, and they wrote some very creepy stories that we shared around a “campfire”, using flashlights in my darkened classroom.

Today, when I showed my students my Zombie Survival Storify, they took notes on zombie characteristics so they can add these facts to their fiction stories. Unfortunately, all I could think of were the similarities between zombies and teenagers! I made a list (that if my kids see, they’ll probably get mad; however, my chart is based on my experience not only teaching teens for quite some time, but also being a mom and aunt to people who are, or once were, teens…). Here we go….

13 Similarities Between Zombies and Teenagers

1. Skin issues — Zombies = crunchy & moldy; Teens = oily & pimply

2. Emotions — Zombies = aggressive & dissatisfied; Teens = moody & dissatisfied

3. Hygiene — Zombies = stinky like phys ed; Teens = may have to be told to bath more times than not!

4. Living space — Zombies = are definitely NOT neat (this may be a stereotype); Teens = cleanliness means physical pain!

5. Attitude — Zombies = callous & unfeeling toward others; Teens = slightly less than zombie callousness!

6. Self-awareness — Zombies = Me, me, me; make lots of loud noises without saying anything; Teens = Of course I’m the center of the universe; make lots of loud noises without saying anything.

7. Organization — Zombies = easily loses body parts without consequence; Teens = always misplacing school bags, iPods, keys, remotes, etc.

8. Social skills — Zombies = travel in hordes & follow the crowd, attacks those who are “different” (ex: alive!); Teens = travels in groups of at least 3 or more & tries to blend in rather than stand out, attack or shy away from those who are “different” (ex: gender, looks, socioeconomic status, race, etc.)

9. Physical activity — Zombies = don’t dance; content to walk about aimlessly; Teens = low levels of physical activity; content to lay on couch playing video games, texting, & Facebooking

10. Appetite — Zombies = always hungry for brains/blood; Teens = always hungry for chicken nuggets & pizza

11. TV Shows — Zombies = The Walking Dead (AMC) ; Teens = The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC)

12. Hangouts — Zombies = dark, cavernous places; Teens = dark, cavernous malls

13. Motto — Zombies = Brains or Bust; Teens = Brains: What’s It Good For?

 

***The only question left is can YOU survive a Teen Apocalypse???***

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