today is a proms & potties episode…

potties: today is the lilybell’s birthday…we aren’t officially celebrating it until sunday, but apparently jake told lily that when she woke up today she’d be four. so, when i woke her up this morning, she immediately said: “mommy…don’t you have something to say to me???” of course i feigned ignorance–no, i don’t have anything to say to you….except we have to get dressed and out of here. “no, mommy….you’re ‘post to say happy birthday, lily–ooooo, mommy!! why can’t you be nice!”

seriously??? i mean, she’s totally mine, hahaha….!

proms: jake’s hair has grown unruly and too thick, and he’s having trouble putting his graduation cap on…so, i told him to get it cut today. all he had to do was tell jackie to thin it out. this afternoon, i came home to jake standing on the stairs and quietly asking me why i made him get his hair cut when it was absolutely fine. i asked why, of course, and then he came down the steps to show me his horror–jackie had cut most of his freaking hair off!! “i so totally hate you right now, mom!” he said, grinning widely…i can’t tell if his grin is really that he doesn’t care, he thinks the cut’s not so bad, or he’s going to come in the middle of the night and snip a chunk out of mine!!

so all night, when someone says something to him, he plays these phrases off family guy—a show that makes my IQ drop like 50 points every time i’ve seen it!! he’s being hilarious with it, which  makes me pee on myself from laughing so  much….god, i hope he doesn’t screw up at college!!

proms & potties together: totally past lily’s bedtime—she’s upstairs running around instead of being in the bed. i hear jake rummaging around for food, so i yell for him. i ask him to get lily for me, and he plays one of the family guy phrases — “Gosh I’d like to help you….” — which sends me into tears!! he brings her down screaming, and the only way he can calm her down is to play those stupid family guy quotes!! now i have no IQ left, and my tongue is lolling out of my mouth–and jake and lily are laughing like crazy (except lily has no clue what she’s laughing about!)…i tell lily to get in bed, and jake whispers to her, “mommy’s just nagging and being ugly, isn’t she, lily?” –“mommy! you stop that wite now! you stop being mad! you’re pissin’ me off!!”

cue the jakester rolling in the floor with horrified laughter!!!